Archive for the ‘FAIL’ Category

Stay classy, gun nuts   Leave a comment

Since the horror at Newport on Friday, the NRA has done what it always does after gun massacre: keeping silent and out of sight until talk of the tragedy dies down.

But some gun rights organizations are a little more shameless.

Check out this little gem of an ad that appeared on Facebook yesterday:

National Association for Gun Rights

I’d never heard of this group before, but I just had to check out their Facebook page. It was as awful as I expected.

Here’s what they posted on the day of the massacre:

more guns less crime

And here are the words of wisdom that one gun lover had to share with the world:

they shud make a law where everyone over15 thats not mentally ill or a violent felon, mandatory to have to carry a gun. That would put an end to rapes, robberys,and mass shooting. Maybe people would think twice, if they knew everyone was packing. plus we wouldnt need to wait for the cops to show after a tragedy has happened, it would be stopped rite then an there.

And while the NRA may respond to their sudden unpopularity in the wake of two dozen teachers and young children being slaughtered by gunfire by silencing its Twitter feed and deactivating its Facebook page, the National Association for Gun Rights took the opportunity to offer a “weekend membership special.” I wish I was kidding.


I don’t think they could possibly be any more shameless and vile, short of, say, announcing plans to travel to the elementary school to “sing praise to God for the glory of his work in executing his judgment,” as the Westboro Baptist Church did.

But who knows, maybe eliminating gun control laws really is the solution to reducing violent crime. After all, if everyone was packing, rapes, robberys,and mass shooting would be stopped rite then an there.

“I like PBS, I love Big Bird…”   Leave a comment

Mitt Romney: “I’m sorry, [debate moderator and PBS news anchor] Jim [Lehrer], I’m gonna stop the subsidy to PBS. I like PBS, I love Big Bird — I actually like you too — but I am not going to keep spending money on things [we have] to borrow money from China to pay for.”

Isn’t it funny how the things Republicans love to cut, the things that make up a tiny portion of our national budget, and the things that have an enormously positive effect on our society – that lead to happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives, especially for minorities and the poor – tend to all be the same things?

Republican National Convention 2012   Leave a comment

So, the Republican National Convention in Tampa ended yesterday. Here are some highlights. Bizarre, horrifying highlights.

  • The convention was held in the Tampa Bay Times Forum, which is a publicly owned and publicly financed venue built with millions of taxpayers’ dollars. In other words, they didn’t build that.
  • Hurricane Isaac menaced and briefly shut down the convention.

    • A constitutional amendment banning abortion, with no exceptions for rape or incest
    • A constitutional amendment banning gay marriage
    • No support for gay civil unions
    • Arizona-style anti-illegal immigrant laws
    • A constitutional amendment requiring a congressional super-majority to aprove any new taxes – except taxes to support wars or national emergencies
    • Public display of the Ten Commandments and prayer in public schools
    • Expansion of stand-your-ground gun laws
    • Did I mention they want to force rape victims to give birth to their rapists’ babies?
  • The keynote speaker was Clint Eastwood. He gave a rambling, incoherent speech in which he had a pretend conversation with Barack Obama while talking to an empty chair. This event was the deliciously surreal icing on the seven-layer “What the hell???” cake that was the 2012 Republican National Convention.

Obama ate a dog!   Leave a comment

So, I read an article on BuzzFeed about the Romney/Obama Dog-gate “scandal” and then got involved in a struggle to balance the deluge of comments left by conservatrolls (gleefully oblivious to the fact that “turnaround is fair play” doesn’t apply when the turnaround is a wildly false equivalency) with some sanity-based counterpoints.

There was one particularly determined troll leading the attack with all the dignity and cleverness of a four-year-old teasing one of his siblings:

After a while it occurred to me that his name seemed familiar. I googled it and I realized that this childish little twit was none other than the hack excuse for a columnist at The Daily Caller who “broke” this “story” last week.

That’s right: the only reason this “Obama ate a dog!!111!1!!” nonsense has been floating through our national dialogue this past week is because it got dredged up and published in a right-wing tabloid by some little twerp with an image of Breitbart on a piece of toast as his Facebook profile picture who’s paid to act as a travesty of a journalist and who’s now trolling this article on BuzzFeed.

This, America, is why we can’t have nice things.

Also, he personally insulted me responded to one of my comments, which is the closest I’ve come to interacting with a famous person since Stephen King’s family sat at a table across from our at Mama Baldacci’s a few years ago.

Andrew Breitbart is dead   1 comment

Never heard of this guy? Consider yourself lucky. Imagine if Rush Limbaugh were more of a rabid semi-fascist ideologue instead of just an ignorant loudmouth, and you have some idea what sort of character Breitbart was. He ran several liberal-bashing right-wing news sites – although the word “news” is here used in the loosest possible sense of the term. His work was meant to be journalism, but the ideological slant of the news articles and opinion essays he published was so strong that the content he published was nothing more than propaganda.

Viscous partisanship, lies, slander, character assassination, fear mongering, vitriol, rancor, bigotry – this is the sad, vile legacy of Andrew Brietbart. His life’s work was to rally right wingers around an ideology of paranoia and hate and to demonize anyone who disagreed with him.

His death is like bin Laden’s: I honestly can’t take any joy in it, no matter how utterly evil the man was, but his kicking the bucket is a decidedly positive development for the human race.

Burn your country down   Leave a comment

Sometimes, when people are angry and desperate and marginalized, they do things that no rational person would ever think of doing. Honestly, though, people behave stupidly even in the best of times. The human mind is an incredible thing, but it’s only so strong, and sometimes doing the right thing is just too hard for some people to deal with.

What I’m getting at is that England is burning, and the people who are doing the burning are from the English underclass. These are the people who have fallen through the cracks of society. Joblessness and poverty are a way of life for them. Many of them are minorities and immigrants. Desperation, violence and and drug use are rampant in the places where they live, and racism and police harassment aren’t unknown to them. Last Thursday, on Aug. 4, a black man named Mark Duggan was involved in a confrontation with police near his home in an area of London called Tottenham. He was allegedly a cocaine dealer and a member of a gang and he was carrying a loaded handgun. Police reported that he fired at them, but that bullet was identified as a police bullet, which must have ricocheted. A protest on Saturday, Aug. 6 was staged by Duggan’s friends and family as well as community leaders and neighbors, and about 200 people wound up in front of the Tottenham police station demanding to speak with police. I suppose the presence of a crowd of outraged people looked similar enough to an angry mob to spark some good ol’ fashioned mob mentality, and before long a demented orgy of looting, vandalism, violence and arson was under way. It spread through London and to Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool, Nottingham, Bristol and other cities across England, and it’s continued every evening since.

What started off as anger over a man’s death quickly devolved into a brutal free-for-all almost completely devoid of any reasonable sense or human decency. Whatever it is that normally encourages the members of the human race to treat each other with respect and decency and keeps them from slaughtering each other has vanished for these people.

I’m struck by how different this scene is from the scenes of the uprisings across the Arab world. Those people, too, suffered from unemployment, police brutality and bleak futures, but when those crowds gathered, they stood together trying to construct a better future for their societies. In Cairo, the only looting being done was by pro-government forces trying to discredit the opposition; the protesters formed neighborhood patrols to put an end to the thuggery.

And of course I can’t help but look at the Tea Party and think that they’re doing the same damn thing to our country. They haven’t set anything on fire, of course – they’re a bit more subtle than that. What they have done is worked tirelessly to destroy nearly every single thing that makes our country great: our welfare system, our unions, the protection of our environment, freedom of religion, the conservation of our natural resources, and the idea that everyone – no matter who they are, no matter their race, background, beliefs or even nationality – is one of our fellow human beings whose rights and whose life and whose dignity must be respected and protected. After a watered-down version of the GOP’s effort to balance our massive deficit on the backs of everyone other that the super wealthy passed, Vice-President Biden said that Tea Party Republicans “acted like terrorists” during the course of the debt ceiling debate. The Tea Party, of course, was outraged and replied that they were no terrorists, they were patriots! And the terrifying thing is that they really seem to think that the things that they’re doing, the things that are undoing decades of work by progressives to make the United States of America a better country and a better place to live in, are good things to do. As do the rioters in England. Rational thought, of course, would tell us that destroying your country is a pretty terrible idea, but it seems that destruction is just too fun for some people to resist.

But all hope certainly isn’t lost. As long as people like this awesome lady are around, I have faith that things can still be turned around, no matter how bad it gets. (This lady’s speech is fantastic, but she does use the F-word pretty liberally, so heads up before you watch this.)

Pet Peeve #154: Advertising slogans that don’t make any sense if you actually stop to think about them   Leave a comment

So, apparently this is a real thing:

“Dear America,

The Liberals are coming.

The Liberals are coming.

My good friend Paul Revere laid out the blueprint of how to deal with this. Sound the alarm! One if by land, Two If By Tea®!

Two If By Tea® represents traditional American values of capitalism and the pursuit of excellence. Each bottle is designed to rise above the sameness and mediocrity that threatens our great nation. Just grab a 12-pack and join the fight to preserve the America we know and love. It’s worth it!

.   .   .    Fellow Americans, hold on to our exceptional values, stand up against those who want to suppress your individual rights and above all take pride in being an American! While you’re at it, join me in drinking a bottle of my tea as we admire the great United States of America and the military and law enforcement officials who fight to defend our freedom every day. Thank God, yes God, for the blessings of life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and of course, this wonderful drink – Two If By Tea®!

– Rush Limbaugh”

It seems our good friend Rush thought up a way to cash in on the Tea Party movement – y’know, besides his radio show. I don’t know why it took him two whole years to realize he could just slap some jingoistic flimflam onto an already existing product and make a killing off it, but he’s finally gotten around to doing it, and here it is.

Unfortunately, the folks down in marketing didn’t quite think these slogans through (or maybe they did, and decided a “witty” pun was better than one that stood up to scrutiny – actually, that’s almost certainly what happened.) “Tea the people,” “From tea to shining tea” – those puns I get. “Two if by tea,” on the other hand, does not hold up. “Two if by tea” is obviously a pun on “One if by land, two if by sea,” a reference to the Paul Revere’s nighttime ride on the eve of the Battle of Lexington and Concord in which two lanterns signaled that British troops would be arriving by boat rather than over land … “two if by sea,” therefore, means is a warning that America is under attack by sea … the word “tea” in the pun obviously refers to the Tea Party movement … so the only logical conclusion we can draw from the name of Rush’s new drink is that two lanterns should be hung (or two bells rung, two warning shots fired, etc.) to warn America that it’s under attack by the Tea Party.

Hmm, that sounds about right to me. “One if by Islamists, two if by Tea Party.” I like it, let’s keep going with this – “Three if natural disaster, four if by idiot politicians, five if by police state authoritarianism, six if by rogue state, seven if by our own stupidity, eight if by zombies, etc.”